Signs Emulation Has Become Unhealthy
As a society, we’re assaulted every day by images of unhealthy, inappropriate and abusive or potentially addictive behavior. Whether the images are in the form of television, billboard, newspaper or magazine advertising, or lurid headlines and provocative photos in tabloid, TV and magazine news stories, they’re everywhere. And, they’re very damaging. In fact, the negativity is so pervasive that a new generation is growing up with a warped sense of reality, idolizing heroes that are anything but, and jeopardizing their own chances for a healthy future. It’s tough out there to be a kid. It’s even tougher to be a parent. The signs are all around us: emulation has become unhealthy.
Inappropriate Dress
Every generation has its provocative icons, those women (and men) who flaunt their bodies in varying degrees of undress. The more titillating, the better, it seems, especially in some circles. Perhaps nowhere is this more evident than in the music world, long an industry filled with flagrant examples of lewdness and indecency. From baggy and torn jeans that expose underwear and private parts of the anatomy to see-through tops and thongs that leave nothing to the imagination, the clothing worn by some of the music world’s biggest stars is nothing less than reprehensible. And it’s been that way for some time. The difference is that today it isn’t an isolated incident with one star – such as a Madonna in her early years – but nudity and inappropriate dress are present in every type of music.
There’s the hip-hop world, where how much you show depends, in part, on how much you have to show. Bling, of course, is big, and the more glitter draped across the body, the bigger (presumably) a star you are. Bling even takes the place of clothing as garments become unnecessary accoutrements in the search for instant attention and notoriety. Who’s going to get photographed more, the half-nude female hip-hop singer with a rhinestone thong and pasties – and not much else – or one who’s fully clothed? No brainer, there, especially when the audience is millions.
But music performers with no taste in clothes (at least, no good taste) extends far beyond hip-hop. The music genres of pop, rock, and soul are perhaps equally as guilty, but it depends on the artist and the venue. You see examples of questionable attire in every major music venue. Think the Grammys, Billboard Music Awards, MTV Video Music Awards, American Music Awards, even Country Music Awards.
Hollywood is another big offender – and always has been, it’s true. Does it seem a bit more blatant lately? It’s almost as if it has become a “can you top this” type of exposure (of flesh that is). The larger the audience, the more examples you’ll find of so-called fashion stretching the bounds of decency. Think of the Academy Awards, both the presenters, the winners, and audience members. Knowing that the worldwide audience is in the billions (considering live, delayed, and countless video clips played in news and entertainment shows and on the Internet), the attendees, nominees, winners and presenters dress accordingly. They may not dress modestly, but they do dress for attention – in one way or another. During the 46th annual Academy Awards, a streaker gained notoriety by running across the stage behind David Niven. The incident was captured and put on YouTube. To-date, the clip has been viewed nearly one million times.
And it’s not just at awards ceremonies where Hollywood stars, starlets, and wannabes strut their stuff. There are endless candid photos taken of these individuals in various stages of undress (accidentally or on purpose) at nightclubs, restaurants, at the beach, in their homes and elsewhere and displayed in the tabloids and magazines at supermarket, drug store and newsstands across the country. Try shielding your children from this kind of over-exposure.
You’d think the sports world would be somehow immune to indecent exposure. Wrong. Remember the famous Super Bowl XXXVIII half-time incident in 2004 when one of Janet Jackson’s breasts was exposed during her performance with Justin Timberlake? Oops, was it really a “wardrobe malfunction” or something else entirely. Regardless, the incident was again replayed on – you guessed it – YouTube, with more than 3.5 million viewings to-date.
Inappropriate Language
It takes more than visual images to impact impressionable minds. Words have a powerful effect as well. Slang, cuss words, and words with suggestive meaning not only become part of the vernacular, but also imply acceptability. The more such words and phrases are heard over the airways and on the street, the more likely they are to become part of the vocabulary of those around us – including our children.
Lyrics of popular songs – again, hip-hop, rap and pop are the biggest offenders – have a subliminal and cumulative effect. Accompanied by an hypnotic, mesmerizing beat and/or instantly recognizable music, such words imprint themselves on impressionable brains. Whether or not the listener agrees with the intent of the words, they are bound to have a lasting impression. Murder, robbery, domestic and other violence, drug and sexual abuse, incest and abuse of children are common themes. So, too, is disrespect for women, parents, authority, police, and society in general.
When such language filters down to the family dinner table, around the house, in the classroom or out in public, you know it’s gone too far. Trying to rein in such behavior is difficult after the fact.
Portrayal of Drug and Alcohol Usage
When did it become okay for excruciatingly vivid portrayals of drug and alcohol usage to be broadcast on commercial television? This is a phenomenon that seems to have spread incrementally. From the years ago Archie Bunker having a beer and lambasting Meathead to the kids on Married with Children secreting beers to actors and actresses downing drinks or shooting up drugs on mainstream TV shows, things have really gone too far.
Advertising for beer, wine and spirits doesn’t do anything but add fuel to the fire. The portrayals of everyone having fun, being with friends, having exciting new adventures – on the ski slopes and around the fire afterward, snowboarding, snowmobiling, at the football games and tailgate parties, during holidays, vacations and just relaxing at home – lead viewers to believe that such behavior is somehow the norm, that it is perfectly acceptable.
As parents, it’s next to impossible to monitor everything our children see and hear. Nor would such micromanagement ever be advisable. What, then, can parents do to prevent their children from unhealthy emulation of obvious bad behavior?
Tips to Prevent Unhealthy Emulation
The old adage that good behavior begins at home has more than a little truth. While parents can’t shield their children from every negative image, bad or inappropriate words in the real world, they can impart sound values and respect for others by starting in the home.
Here are some tips to help prevent (or counter) unhealthy emulation:
• Watch TV as a family. – When there’s a special program, say a holiday special or a worthwhile movie, arrange to watch it as a family. Make it an occasion by making some healthy treats, sharing popcorn (air-popped, and not loaded with butter and salt), and sitting around together for the entire broadcast. If some inappropriate commercials air during this viewing time, mention that you want to discuss this later. Chances are that a family broadcast will have fewer of such controversial or inappropriate commercials, but it’s not impossible that some will sneak in there. After all, advertisers buy commercial time in either blocks or spot buys. Blocks of time are when they pay for particular prime-time hours or programming, whereas spot buys mean their commercials can air anytime that isn’t prime time.
• Limit TV viewing. – The average American spends too much time in front of the television screen. This cuts into hours that could be spent in more productive ways, such as exercising, pursuing hobbies, and reading, cooking, in cultural enrichment, volunteering, and enjoying the company of friends. Make it a rule that television viewing is restricted to certain hours, or prohibit viewing of overly violent programs or those whose content you deem inappropriate or unacceptable. Won’t children be able to view such programs elsewhere? Yes, but having the rules and example set at home will at least make an impression about where the family values are.
• Shop for clothing together. – While it’s usually the mother that shops for clothing for the children, occasionally the father either accompanies the family or buys the clothes with the children. Which parent does it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that parents and children shop for clothing together. Be sure to pay compliments to an outfit that is really in good taste and conforms to family values – especially if the child picks it out. This reinforces good behavior and emulation that’s healthy. Absolutely forbid purchase of skimpy bra-type tops, see-through or skin-tight clothing, or anything suggestive. Be prepared for some argument on this issue, however, especially if the kind of clothing your son or daughter wants is particularly popular with friends who are emulating some pop, rap or hip-hop star’s style. In the end, you are the parent. It’s up to you to set the standards and insist they are met.
• Turn off offensive lyrics on the radio. – When driving in the car with your children, if the radio is on and a song with offensive or questionable lyrics plays – either as part of the programming or because your child selects it, turn it off. Then, have a discussion about why you did so. Lyrics that degrade women, espouse violence, drug abuse, drinking and driving, or other unacceptable behavior should be pointed out. Emphasize that these are not the kind of values that the family lives by, and you don’t want your children to believe that such words, and the actions they imply, are in any way acceptable. On the other hand, when there is a popular recording artist whose words and music are acceptable, it’s a good idea to comment on some aspect of the selection – the artist’s talent, the melody, catchy lyrics, or the like. You don’t even have to be a fan of the music. Parents rarely have the same taste in music as their children. But, the fact that you listen and can relate to what your children listen to will go a long way in cementing your credibility.
• Watch out for unhealthy eating habits. – Sometimes the behavior that children witness has nothing to do with clothing (or lack of), music or drug or alcohol use. They may decide that they are too fat after seeing images of rail-thin, emaciated celebrities. If the celebrity is one of their age-set, the problem is magnified. Watch out for any signs that your child is refusing to eat, shoving their food around the plate instead of eating it, only eating very small or selective portions of food, bingeing and vomiting or using laxatives and water pills. These are signs of very unhealthy eating habits that may lead to potentially life-threatening eating disorders. Excessive weight loss, extreme exercise to the point of exhaustion, constantly counting calories and an obsessively critical self- or body-image are other signs to be on the lookout for. If you see any of these signs, don’t panic, but do seek help. Either talk with the family physician or enlist the aid of a dietician or nutritionist and/or counseling for the child. There may be physical and/or psychological root causes, coupled with familial and/or social influences. If a parent or sibling has an eating disorder, this caution is even more necessary, as eating disorders tend to run in families.
• Don’t drink at home. – While most Americans are able to drink responsibly, access to alcohol can be a huge problem to adolescents and teens. Again, lead by example. Is it really necessary to have a large supply of beer, wine and spirits in the house? Is it even necessary to have liquor in the house at all? Of course, if one of the parents is an alcoholic, this is again a no-brainer. There can’t be any alcohol in the home at all. But as a matter of good sense, limiting alcohol consumption at home – or not drinking at home at all – just helps prevent emulation of bad behavior.
• Be responsible about medications. – Another seeming coincidence is the plethora of television advertising for pharmaceuticals. Whether it’s for depression, headache, sexual stamina, allergies, colds, flu or minor aches and pains, there’s a drug company touting its product. Prescription and over-the-counter (OTC) medications alike get more than ample air time. Yes, they are required to mention contra-indications and side effects, but these are hurriedly glossed over in the voice-over at the end of the commercials. The over-riding message is: buy this because it will cure you. Too much reliance on pills for everything is a behavior parents must really try to stop. Again, lead by example. Keep an inventory of all prescription and OTC medicines in the house, who takes them and for what condition, what strength and dosage, number remaining, any refills and when, and expiration dates. Keep medications locked up and inaccessible to your children. If they do need a medication, give it to them yourself. Make sure they know the rules about medications, that medicine is very powerful and can be very dangerous. Never take medicine with alcohol, and watch mixing medications.
Perhaps the most effective way to counter unhealthy emulation is to be loving and caring parents. A family unit that is close and responsive to each other’s wants and needs is the best possible defense against unhealthy influences – whether they come from outside the home or over the airwaves.
