What to Do If You Are Have a Problem with Your Therapist
Entering treatment for drug or alcohol abuse includes participation in ongoing counseling and either individual or group therapy conducted by licensed substance abuse or addiction therapists. In fact, treatment is tailored to each client’s individual circumstances. There is no one-size-fits-all treatment program.
So, you’ve gotten this far – made it through detoxification and started treatment. Congratulations! This is a big step for any individual trying to overcome addictions. But this is also where the hard work begins.
Naturally, some problems are bound to occur. And they’re likely to happen during discussions with your counselor or therapist. Why is that? Your therapist or counselor is the person who, in the treatment process, sees you the most often and begins to know you as a person. Depending on your mindset and readiness to move forward, you may be resistant so some of what the therapist has to say.
Goal of Therapy
It’s important to remember that drug or alcohol therapy has two goals. The primary goal is to help you achieve and maintain abstinence from addictive drugs and alcohol. The secondary goal is to help you recover from the damage that addiction has done to your life and that of your family.
Role of the Therapist
The therapist is here to provide support and education – and to hold you accountable through nonjudgmental confrontation. Ideally, you should see the counselor as an ally in your goal to achieve sobriety.
Recovery is ultimately your responsibility. The job of the counselor/therapist is to encourage your self-developed movement toward recovery.
What Happens During Therapy
Denial is part of the recovery process and is expected. You are most likely in denial of some aspect of your addictive lifestyle, and that may be causing the friction you feel with your therapist.
Think about how honest and forthright you have been with your therapist in discussing your drug and/or alcohol abuse. How truthful have you been about what it has done to your own life and that of your family? In fact, alcoholics and drug addicts are rarely upfront about these issues. The first thing your therapist does is to deal with your resistance.
Let’s face it. People don’t like change. Just being in drug or alcohol treatment is a big change for you – as it is for every client.
You may block or deny how negative the impact of drugs or alcohol have been in your life. As long as any traces of drugs or alcohol remain in the bloodstream, your thought processes are somewhat distorted. The process of complete detoxification may have only taken days, or it could have lasted weeks. If your thinking continued to remain clouded, a psychiatric evaluation may have been necessary. But the fact that you are now in therapy with a primary therapist assigned to you, attempting to address some painful issues, confronting them instead of denying them, means that you’re vulnerable – and you don’t like it.
One way to deal with that discomfort is to say you’ve got a problem with your therapist. Ask yourself honestly if you’ve given it enough time? Did you take an instant dislike to the therapist and subconsciously worked up a barrier – just so you can avoid taking responsibility?
The therapist will do the following:
• Help you to break through denial
• Help you to create strategies to stay away from negative people, places and things instrumental in your addiction
• Help you to take a personal inventory
• Help you to work on character development
• Help you achieve an inner strength
• Help you to address issues that continue to present themselves each day
What to Look For in a Therapist
Therapists in your treatment facility are licensed and trained to deal with substance abuse and addiction. What you need in your therapist is someone with whom you are able to establish a rapport, someone who is a good listener and who accepts you for who you are – no negatve attitude about why you are here or whatever you have done. There should be no blaming on the part of the therapist for your actions, even if it is a relapse. Your therapist should encourage you to speak honestly about your drug and/or alcohol addictive behaviors, accept your story, and, above all, be respectful of you as a person.
What You Need to Do in Therapy
It’s not easy. Coming to grips with what you’ve allowed your life to become will surface intense feelings of guilt and shame. You may feel unloved, abandoned, worthless, unworthy of a better life. Your number one obstacle to overcome at first is to realize and admit that you have a problem with addiction – and that you need to deal with it.
You will need to continue to meet with your counselor or therapist on a regular basis – whether this is through a residential or outpatient treatment program.
You have to give it time to work. Breakthroughs don’t happen overnight. Just as your addiction took some time to develop, learning to overcome those self-destructive behaviors will take some time as well.
Working with your therapist, various therapeutic techniques may be employed. Some are time-limited approaches based on focused cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) and the 12-step recovery programs. CBT helps you recognize, adapt and cope with situations where you’d most likely resort to drugs and/or alcohol. You’ll learn to develop skills and strategies to deal with cravings for drugs and/or alcohol, how to avoid people, places and things that cause triggers to use, and how to regain your self-esteem, confidence and inner strength. You will, in effect, learn the tools to help you continue your lifelong recovery.
Can’t You Just Leave?
People do leave treatment before completion. But it’s always at a huge cost to their recovery. If you decide that you can’t work with a particular therapist and can’t or won’t give it additional time, before you walk out of treatment, ask to speak with the therapist’s supervisor or the director of the facility. It’s critical that you remain in treatment, for your own sake, and the facility will do what it takes to ensure that your needs are met, within the bounds of protocol.
Perhaps another therapist can be assigned to you, or through discussion, there may be some accommodation that can be reached between you and your original therapist that will be acceptable. Don’t lose sight of the ultimate goal: to achieve and remain abstinent in lifelong recovery. You owe it to yourself to give treatment the chance to work. You are your own worst enemy, after all. Instead of walking away – and having to repeat the whole process again at a later time – push through your barriers to change.
Look To Your Future
Keep in mind your future – one that’s drug- and alcohol-free. The goal is attainable. Through counseling, individual and group therapy, education, and motivation, you can and will achieve it. Don’t put off your better tomorrow. Stay in therapy, remain in treatment, and envision the life you can and will have in recovery.
