You’ve started seeing someone, first just for companionship, not looking for any long-term entanglement. But now it feels like there could be something there and you want more. What you’re experiencing is a need to share and interact with another human being on a more intimate level. That’s all fine and good, healthy, in fact. But you harbor a secret: you’re an alcoholic. You really don’t want to tell this person your whole story. Maybe if you keep it hidden things will work out okay. Don’t delude yourself. You have to be truthful. If you don’t, somewhere down the line it will come out anyway, and you’ll likely lose the relationship. But how and when should you come clean? How do you tell someone you care about that you’re an alcoholic?
Where Are You in Recovery?
If you are new to recovery, this may be the first time in a long time that you’ve been in a frame of mind to even have a relationship on a deeper level with another individual. This may not be something you want to hear, but now may not be the time to actively pursue a romantic involvement. You may need to give yourself more time to work on your coping skills, give and receive support from your 12-step friends, and work on charting your short-term and long-term goals. Why? The answer is simple. You want to be in a position to freely give and receive love and affection, and not have things clouded by your ongoing work to remain clean and sober. In other words, your focus right now should be on your recovery, as well as envisioning a future that encompasses everything you want – including sharing your life with another. … Continue Reading
