The Basics of Sex Addiction

Just like alcoholism or drug addiction, sex addiction—or compulsive sexual behavior—is a disorder. As in all addictions, the behaviors become intensified over time and can lead to damaged relationships and other negative consequences. Some sex addicts use pornography or masturbate excessively, while others take part in illegal acts like voyeurism, exhibitionism, and even rape.

For many people, sexual addiction is not about the pleasure one receives from sexual acts—instead, it is often used as a way to feel less lonely, become numb to painful feelings, and avoid boredom. “Most people I talk to get to the point where they don’t even like sex,” said Kelly McDaniel, a licensed professional counselor in San Antonio, Texas.

The National Council on Sex Addiction and Compulsivity defines sexual addiction as “engaging in persistent and escalating patterns of sexual behavior acted out despite increasing negative consequences to self and others.” Put plainly, a sex addict will continue his or her behaviors despite negative, life-changing consequences like divorce, health risks, financial troubles, and even being arrested.

According to the Mayo Clinic, an estimated three to six percent of adults in the US are affected by sex addition, and about 80 percent of sex addicts have backgrounds of sexual or emotional abuse. “When you have abuse in your background, you’re less likely to trust people, (and) you’re more likely to turn to something like sex addiction as a manifestation,” psychologist Mark Schwartz said. He also said that having feelings of being neglected as a child can lead to sex addiction.

More and more sex addicts are seeking help with addiction to Internet porn and cybersex, and an increasing number of them are women. McDaniel says Internet porn has become a “gender-neutral” addiction, and notes that previously female sex addicts would have affairs or become sex workers. Those who have affairs or use pornography are not necessarily sex addicts, of course—addiction occurs only when the pastime takes over a person’s free time, generates negative consequences, and becomes impossible to quit.

The science behind sex addiction is still inconclusive. Chemicals in the brain like dopamine and serotonin contribute to sexual functioning, but it’s not yet clear how they are related to sex addiction. These two chemicals have been found to be lower in the brains of children who have been abused, McDaniel said, which may explain why some of them end up using sex to increase their dopamine and serotonin levels.

In addition, sex addition often occurs with other disorders, such as drug or alcohol addiction and eating disorders. According to McDaniel, this is especially true among women.

Unlike treatment for alcohol and drug addiction, those seeking treatment for sex addiction are not advised to abstain from sex entirely, but instead to control their behaviors and learn to positively associate sex with relationships. An effective treatment program would involve individual and group therapy, 12-step support, and possibly psychiatric medications, depending on the individual’s needs.

“Treatment is long-term, and it’s not easy,” said McDaniel. “I really recommend that a woman or a man find someone who’s trained and understands that sex addiction is a brain disease and does not further the shame that comes with this disease.”

Source: CNN, Elizabeth Landau, When Sex Becomes an Addiction, September 5, 2008